squarted:

when u lose mom at the storeimage

Congratulations, your Dad level is now 55!

dusknitemaren:

Manliness increased by 2

Dad Humor increased by 5

Sneeze Volume increased by 7 decibels

Ability to Relate to Kids decreased by 1

Need to Buy Lottery Tickets increased by 2

New joke unlocked: “Hi Bored, I’m dad!”
New ability available for purchase: Power Sneeze

allmonds:

I was at walmart and this guy had a pet squirrel (he gave me permission to post this)

ariabacon:

so do you ever start out in a situation trying to be as nice and selfless as you can

then something just shifts and you suddenly hate everything and everyone involved

image

cyberfricking:

a shrek fanfiction called “i’m not ogre you”

katara:

how ugly do you have to be to hate on spongebob

babygoatsandfriends:
isamiaella:

homosexualpancakes:

give us the child

wipe away the debt

warnerbrostv: GAME OF THRONES co-stars Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gwendoline Christie share a look at the Warner Bros booth at Comic Con. ( x )
spiritdick:

I want to know why
is your mum a 13 year old